I like list (if you haven’t noticed already). When I google something, I want clear answers and provided and in list form, if possible. I made my decision to file for divorce after thinking about it for a while. If I would have google “should I get a divorce” these are the results that I would have needed to see.
- You “Googled” so that says a lot. This would have been a huge sign for me.
- When you aren’t happy and you haven’t been for a while
- When you start withdrawing – casual conversations stop, intimacy stops, anything that made this a relationship is no longer present
- You start to feel like roommates
- The D word has been tossed around
- You feel like you are protecting your spouse and keeping secrets for them
- When you feel like you cannot do anything right around this person
- If children are involved, do you want them to see this marriage as an example
- Also, if kids are involved, you feel like a single parent within the marriage
I also wish I had known that it is not embarrassing to admit you are divorcing. No one needs a reason. Simply put, things did not work out. It is more embarrassing to say I stayed married for the sake of being married. Choose you and your wellbeing over pleasing others.
Also, another stigma attached to divorce is the idea of a failed marriage. It is not a failed marriage. One can argue that it’s a failure to stay in a disaster zone. It’s mature to step away. The marriage ran its course. There is no ‘Winner’ in marriage. No one truly knows what happens behind closed doors.
Whether you decide to divorce or not, I wish you the best. I want YOU to be the best YOU and to be happy. Life’s too short to be miserable.