Why am I crying again?


I dread the days that I don’t have my daughter. I try to stay busy, but sure enough after I FaceTime her goodnight, it sets in that I am truly by myself.

I cooked dinners for the upcoming weeks, baked, cleaned, and still feel empty. I’ve blasted Taylor Swift, listened to podcast, and watched my Saturday sports.

What was my tipping point to burst out in tears? Seeing E! news of Aaron Carter’s passing. I didn’t cry because I was currently his biggest fan. The flood of emotions was more of the tipping stone that I cannot process anymore bad news.

Aaron Carter was my first CD and celebrity crush. My dad loved him and would sing his songs with me. Now I sit in my empty house listening to songs of my youth; missing my kiddo. I went on a deep dive of songs from the early 2o00s and uncontrollable tears happened when LFO played on my Spotify.

Life has ups and downs and sometime I don’t know if I’m bound to reach a breaking point. I know this is all temporary and like Rodney Atkins says:

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going
Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there